Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
