I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
