So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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