Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
