More tranny stories later!
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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