Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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