Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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