Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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