i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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