____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
