Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
