i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
