My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
