her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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