Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
