id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
