i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
