I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Randomize
