I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
