No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
