I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
