just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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