youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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