My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
