Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
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