ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
