I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
