the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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