My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
