u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
