Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
