Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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