even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Watching her eat just hurts me
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
