Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
