No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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