Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
