Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
