New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
