i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
