cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
