At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
