Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
