I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
