Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
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