Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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