Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
