Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
