i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
