Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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