So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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